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Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

was a difficult day.

I'm rushing a lot of things.

And learnt to let go of more things.

I found a story on Fictionpress, and oddly enough, was one that made me think of my own spiritual life.
The Boy Who Talks to God
Probably the most real, fictional love story ever written on Fictionpress with a spiritual element contained within.
Of course, not every single thing in there is foolproof, but it still makes one think.

I like how the author puts it when the two main characters, Nate and Ally, nearly kissed for the very first time in a long time, but the boy pulls away immediately before doing so and the girl is hurt. But Nate answers:

“A kiss is never just a kiss,” he said in a low, contemplative voice. “It’s like a promise of more, of things bigger and more satisfying. Commitment, affection, intimacy. And in your eyes, at least, it should be that way. A kiss has to go forward, and if it can’t, it festers, and it hurts. I see it happening everywhere around me. And if I kiss you, Ally, it…it can’t go anywhere.” His voice wavered, and I felt his hands tighten around mine. “Why would I ever do that to you?”

I felt my eyes watering, stinging, blinking back tears. I suppose I hadn’t really thought he’d ever considered these things. I suppose I had thought that his decision to remain single was easy for him, and that he had never once had to wrestle with it. But clearly he had. And the way he spoke to me now was so gentle and patient, so desirous of my understanding, that it chased all the bitterness away, and left nothing but compassion.

Nate released my hand and turned to gaze upon the orange, glowing sun. “People like to think kissing is innocent, that it can’t really tempt you to sin. But the truth is that it’s just one more acceleration point on the onramp to sex. I wouldn’t ever kiss a girl unless she was my wife.” He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper. “And then I wouldn’t stop kissing her.”

My heart fluttered in my chest. There was sorrow in his voice, perhaps regret. I longed to speak up and question why, if he did want to get married, he would deny himself such a future. But my courage had left me, and I remained silent.

After a long sigh, Nate snared my gaze again. “You’re my sister in Christ, Ally. I respect you. I want to honor you as a woman. Kissing you would be the most selfish thing I could do. Because one day you’ll marry someone, and you won’t be able to give him everything. I’ll have taken something from you that isn’t mine to take.” He swallowed down a lump in his throat. “Save yourself for the man you want to marry.”

Chapter 16

Highly recommended.
Especially to Zhi Ai and Chien Aun.

~2:13 am