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Designer: manikka
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is my new favourite place.

Oh, I'm getting addicted to Tim Tams and Snow Flakes. Eek!

~3:02 pm

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

by Billy Joel

~2:07 pm

In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who sings
Of the dreams that he brings
From the wide open sea
In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who sleeps
While the river bank weeps
To the old willow tree

In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who dies
Full of beer, full of cries
In a drunken town fight
In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who's born
On a hot muggy morn
By the dawn's early light

In the port of Amsterdam
Where the sailors all meet
There's a sailor who eats
Only fish heads and tails
And he'll show you his teeth
That have rotted too soon
That can haul up the sails
That can swallow the moon

And he yells to the cook
With his arms open wide
"Hey, bring me more fish
Throw it down by my side"
And he wants so to belch
But he's too full to try
So he stands up and laughs
And he zips up his fly


In the port of Amsterdam
You can see sailors dance
Paunches bursting their pants
Grinding women to porch
They've forgotten the tune
That their whiskey voice croaked
Splitting the night
With the roar of their jokes
And they turn and they dance
And they laugh and they lust
Till the rancid sound of the accordion bursts
And then out of the night
With their pride in their pants
And the sluts that they tow
Underneath the street lamps

In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who drinks
And he drinks and he drinks
And he drinks once again
He'll drink to the health
Of the whores of Amsterdam
Who've given their bodies
To a thousand other men
Yeah, they've bargained their virtue
Their goodness all gone
For a few dirty coins
Well he just can't go on
Throws his nose to the sky
And he aims it up above
And he pisses like I cry
On the unfaithful love

In the port of Amsterdam
In the port of Amsterdam

It's not bad...but I still prefer the Scott Walker version.

~3:39 pm

Last Updated: Tuesday, 20 September 2005, 13:20 GMT 14:20 UK

Meeting Malaysia's notorious triads


As part of the BBC's Who Runs Your World? series, Jonathan Kent in Kuala Lumpur looks at how Malaysia's notorious triad gangs are run.


In my attempt to find out more the triads, I made the ground rules clear from the start.

I didn't want specifics, I didn't want details and I certainly didn't want names. I just wanted to know how the gangs worked.

I have no idea what Ah Hing's real name is, but I do know that he is being groomed to take over as tai ko - big brother (a term triad members use for their bosses) - in a gang that operates in a small town in northern Malaysia.

We had chosen a room in an old shop house in which to meet. Ah Hing looked like many working class Malaysian Chinese, with heavy jewellery, cheap shoes and spiky hair. His minder collected tattoos.

"We do sell some ecstasy pills and that is how we make a living, me and my friends," he said.

"We do take girls for prostitution, and this is much easier to do than ecstasy because usually the government will not bother us when we do this."

The triads and Malaysia's other criminal gangs dabble in any number of rackets. Some even smuggle opiated cough syrup.

Dealing drugs in Malaysia carries the death penalty. Hangmen got a pay rise earlier this year - it is an issue the government takes seriously.

Prostitution is easier to get away with, and so is loan sharking or making and peddling fake goods. Malaysia is thought to be the world's largest producer of pirated optical discs.

But Ah Hing runs girls and sells pills. The women cost the gangs between $750 and $2000 each. They are bought and sold like cattle, and the pimps want a return.

"The girls know they have to work to pay back the money we paid to buy them," Ah Hing said.

"We do find girls who refuse to work, and we will keep them in solitary confinement and give them a bad time until they tell me they want to work," he said.

Ancient rituals

The triads have their roots in a 17th Century movement dedicated to restoring China's Ming dynasty to the throne, but over time they degenerated into criminal gangs.

In some places they still have rituals, as Jessica Lau, a well-connected member of the Malaysian Chinese community, found out.

When Ms Lau lived in New Zealand, her neighbour was a Hong Kong triad boss who decided to retire.

"During his very last days as the leader of the triad society, he gathered everybody from his society and in front of leaders from other societies he washed his hands in a gold basin which symbolised that from today onwards he is not going to be involved in the triad society any more, and now he is old and respectable and a free man," she said.

But Malaysia's triads are rather more prosaic than those in Hong Kong. The element of ceremony has gone, and these groups are run as businesses.

Ah Hing referred to his as "our company". It's a pragmatic affair, where deals are reached with the authorities - who set boundaries for crimes they know can never be eliminated.

"If I want to operate on a particular street and ask a politician to ask the authorities not to disturb me, the politician might say: 'It's impossible to have zero arrests, so you can operate on certain hours and we will patrol after those hours' - so it's a win-win situation," Ah Hing said.

If someone crosses him, however, it's most certainly not win-win.

"If someone betrays me personally... I will get a few gang members together and beat him up until he's paralysed or he's a vegetable, but if the matter is really big then they'll be brought before my tai ko for a trial," he said.

"If my tai ko asks us to deal with someone, even if we kill that person, we won't be worried, because if the police arrest us, my tai ko will get me out," he added.

"Last time I was taken in the front door of the [police] lock-up, and right away I walk out of the back door."

Part of society

Most Malaysians have little or nothing to do with the triads. But many poorer people have nowhere else to turn when they need to borrow money.

All too often, Michael Chong, head of public services for the political party the Malaysian Chinese Association, sees what happens when borrowers default on their payments.

"We do have cases where they run away, you know, with the family... and of course we have some cases where they have been assaulted - assaulted in the sense they have to be hospitalised," Mr Chong said.

Ah Hing makes no bones about his world and his life. "I admit that I am a bad guy, and that I'm a gangster," he said.

"So who runs your world?" I asked - to which he gave a simple reply : "The government".

"If the government doesn't want to be a bit lenient with us and if they are strict about everything, then there's no way that I can make a living. There's no work," Ah Hing said.

When the economic downturn of 1998 hit Asia, many Malaysians turned to the triads for work.

It allowed thousand to fill their rice bowls.

That in itself is reason enough for some in power to turn a blind eye to what these gangs do - that and the knowledge that the triads are there to make a living, not to cause trouble.

They may be bad men, but they're also businessmen.

~3:10 am

Dance from a guy who lost a leg, and a girl who lost her arm in a car accident.
Doesn't stop them from dancing to their fullest though.
They won first prize in an annual dance competition hosted by CCTV International, Beijing.

~11:13 pm

David C. won.
Congratulations, your records might sell out.

but I still see David A. as the next Burt Bacharach or Bryan Adams, even if his recording career might not pick up right away.
David A. has the heart and soul.

I thank God for lifting my spirits. =P Here's to You!

~10:14 pm

David Archuleta's performances blew me away. Especially during the finals...gosh...his singing gave me chills from the start.
I know I know, David Cook sings better and all...But I can see David A. being the next Burt Bacharach, whose songs last forever. More staying quality...and I don't see that quality in David Cook, sorry, although I do love his songs and all too.

~12:24 pm

This might smite TMY =P





by Donald Soffritti

Check out Soffritti's work. Made superheroes old and graying and, real...

~2:58 am

Awesome God by Rich Mullins
When He rolls up His sleeves
He ain't just putting on the ritz
(Our God is an awesome God)
There's thunder in His footsteps
And lightning in His fists
(Our God is an awesome God)
And the Lord wasn't joking when He kicked 'em out of Eden
It wasn't for no reason that He she'd His blood
His return is very close and so you better be believing that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

And when the sky was starless
In the void of the night
(Our God is an awesome God)
He spoke into the darkness
And created the light
(Our God is an awesome God)
Judgement and wrath He poured out on Sodom
Mercy and grace He gave us at the cross
I hope that we have not too quickly forgotten that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God (Our God is an awesome God)
He reigns from heaven above (He reigns from heaven above)
With wisdom, power, and love (With wisdom, power, and love)
Our God is an awesome God
Our God is an awesome God
Our God is an awesome God

-----

*this song never fails to awe me.

My God is awesome and overwhelming,
and I love Him more and more.

~1:50 am

This is torture.
with a capital 'T'!

I study better than I do assignments.

Oh how I love exams, but dislike assignments.

Help me!

~7:15 pm

Video made by yours truly...



~9:03 pm

was an enlightening day.

I got scammed. Shan't go into the details yet (maybe next post), but at least things are solved, for now, nothing lost, thank God!
It's probably one of the most humbling and eye-opening experience I got.
Thanks to my siblings for the kick to my backside.

The video I made for Winter Camp 2008 promo was shown in OCF, was quite an interesting thing to see. Once I manage to convert the .avi file to something smaller, I'll upload it onto Youtube on weekend.

I'm really praying and hoping that the potential campers for the camp will be desperate and hungry, and actively seeking, pressing in, fervent praying, and the holy presence of God just descends and capture us in awe, right in the centre of the Holy of Holies, to the point that we can do nothing but just be silent and wholly worship Him with our hearts full of joy.
There must be more, there must be more of God that we haven't seen yet. I want to know more of Him.

---

I need prayer...
I've got 3 assignments due nearly back to back.
PSY2031 Biological Psychology Lab Report: 19/5
COM2080 Youth Media Unit Journal: 23/5
PSY2051 Research, Design and Analysis A2: 28/5

Exams start 6/6 till 24/6. Each week one paper.

=D TA!

~2:57 am

I saw this from a post while I was searching for the names of God.

* Jehovah - The Lord
Exodus 6:2,3

* Adonai Jehovah - The Lord God
Genesis 15:2

* Jehovah Adon Kal Ha’arets - The Lord, the Lord of All the Earth
Joshua 3:11

* Jehovah Bara - The Lord Creator
Isaiah 40:28

* Jehovah Chezeq - The Lord My Strength
Psalm 18:1

* Jehovah Chereb - The Lord . . the Sword
Deut. 33:29

* Jehovah Eli - The Lord My God
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah Elyon - The Lord Most High
Genesis 14:18

* Jehovah ‘Ez-Lami - The Lord My Strength
Psalm 28:7

* Jehovah Gador Milchamah - The Lord Mighty in Battle
Psalm 24:8

* Jehovah Ganan - The Lord Our Defense
Psalm 89:18

* Jehovah Go’el - The Lord Thy Redeemer
Isaiah 49:26; 60:16

* Jehovah Hashopet - The Lord the Judge
Judges 11:27

* Jehovah Hoshe’ah - The Lord Save
Psalm 20:9

* Jehovah ‘Immeku - The Lord Is with you
Judges 6:12

* Jehovah ‘Izoz Hakaboth - The Lord Strong and Mighty
Psalm 24:8

* Jehovah Jireh - The Lord will Provide
Genesis 22:14

* Jehovah Kabodhi - The Lord My Glory
Psalm 3:3

* Jehovah Kanna - The Lord Whose Name is Jealous
Exodus 34:14

* Jehovah Keren-Yish’i - The Lord the Horn of My Salvation
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah Machsi - The Lord My Refuge
Psalm 91:9

* Jehovah Magen - The Lord, the Shield
Deut. 33:29

* Jehovah Ma’oz - The Lord . . . My Fortress
Jeremiah 16:19

* Jehovah Hamelech - The Lord the King
Psalm 98:6

* Jehovah Melech ‘Olam - The Lord King Forever
Psalm 10:16

* Jehovah Mephalti - The Lord My Deliverer
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah M’gaddishcem - The Lord Our Sanctifier
Exodus 31:13

* Jehovah Metsodhathi - The Lord. . . . My Fortress
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah Misqabbi - The Lord My High Tower
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah Naheh - The Lord that Smiteth
Ezekiel 7:9

* Jehovah Nissi - The Lord Our Banner
Exodus 17:15

* Jehovah ‘Ori - The Lord My Light
Psalm 27:1

* Jehovah Rapha - The Lord that Healeth
Exodus 15:26

* Jehovah Rohi - The Lord My Shepherd
Psalm 23:1

* Jehovah Saboath - The Lord of Hosts
I Samuel 1:3

* Jehovah Sel’i - The Lord My Rock
Psalm 18:2

* Jehovah Shalom - The Lord Our Peace
Judges 6:24

* Jehovah Shammah - The Lord is There
Ezekiel 48:35

* Jehovah Tiskenu - The Lord Our Righteousness
Jeremiah 23:6

* Jehovah Tsori - O Lord My Strength
Psalm 19:14

* Jehovah ‘Uzam - The Lord Their Strength
Psalm 37:39

* Jehovah Yasha - The Lord Thy Saviour
Isaiah 49:26; 60:16

I'm a bit surprised by Jehovah Kanna, guess you learn something new every single day.
But my God is the God of surprises, and I'm thankful for that (although sometimes I wish He wasn't, but that undefinable quality of His just makes Him all the more special).

~2:09 am

Happy Clown Hanging Around by ~SAMLIM

~7:26 pm

was a difficult day.

I'm rushing a lot of things.

And learnt to let go of more things.

I found a story on Fictionpress, and oddly enough, was one that made me think of my own spiritual life.
The Boy Who Talks to God
Probably the most real, fictional love story ever written on Fictionpress with a spiritual element contained within.
Of course, not every single thing in there is foolproof, but it still makes one think.

I like how the author puts it when the two main characters, Nate and Ally, nearly kissed for the very first time in a long time, but the boy pulls away immediately before doing so and the girl is hurt. But Nate answers:

“A kiss is never just a kiss,” he said in a low, contemplative voice. “It’s like a promise of more, of things bigger and more satisfying. Commitment, affection, intimacy. And in your eyes, at least, it should be that way. A kiss has to go forward, and if it can’t, it festers, and it hurts. I see it happening everywhere around me. And if I kiss you, Ally, it…it can’t go anywhere.” His voice wavered, and I felt his hands tighten around mine. “Why would I ever do that to you?”

I felt my eyes watering, stinging, blinking back tears. I suppose I hadn’t really thought he’d ever considered these things. I suppose I had thought that his decision to remain single was easy for him, and that he had never once had to wrestle with it. But clearly he had. And the way he spoke to me now was so gentle and patient, so desirous of my understanding, that it chased all the bitterness away, and left nothing but compassion.

Nate released my hand and turned to gaze upon the orange, glowing sun. “People like to think kissing is innocent, that it can’t really tempt you to sin. But the truth is that it’s just one more acceleration point on the onramp to sex. I wouldn’t ever kiss a girl unless she was my wife.” He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper. “And then I wouldn’t stop kissing her.”

My heart fluttered in my chest. There was sorrow in his voice, perhaps regret. I longed to speak up and question why, if he did want to get married, he would deny himself such a future. But my courage had left me, and I remained silent.

After a long sigh, Nate snared my gaze again. “You’re my sister in Christ, Ally. I respect you. I want to honor you as a woman. Kissing you would be the most selfish thing I could do. Because one day you’ll marry someone, and you won’t be able to give him everything. I’ll have taken something from you that isn’t mine to take.” He swallowed down a lump in his throat. “Save yourself for the man you want to marry.”

Chapter 16

Highly recommended.
Especially to Zhi Ai and Chien Aun.

~2:13 am

Michelle Kwan - Collage of her figure skating routines


You can't stop the beat (Hairspray)


Hands - by Amanda Ocampo (WHO WAS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE DID THIS!!!)


~4:25 pm