Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Engineers
I dedicate this to Ng Oon Ee, Meng Hong, and all those potential engineers out there.
*I copied this from SanJay's blog...funny guy, really man...*
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes
probably wouldn't have fitted."
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE
A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
priest said
"Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
slow,
aren't they?" The greens keeper replied. "Oh yes, that's a group of
blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad.
I
think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor
said,
"Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if
there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said "Why can't
these
guys play at night?"
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build
targets.
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate
with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate
with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with
an
Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer.
Just look at all the joints." Another said "No it was an electrical
engineer. The nervious system has many thousands of electrical
connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer.
Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Engineers
believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet."
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said
he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because
of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said "I like
both."
"Both?"
"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are
spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some
work done."
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and
said "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and
said "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out
"If
you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and
do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at
it
and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful
princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you
want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
~4:01 am