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Who am I?
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wandering heart.
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.

by Casting Crowns




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Sunday, March 06, 2005

Essay: Room

Scattered. Scattered and torn. Scattered, torn and red.

An unknown in a white trenchcoat walked through the door of an abandoned house. He stepped carefully over the messy things that had been laid there ever since the family moved out of the country in order to escape the angst. Cobwebs filled the entire area from head to toe. Swiping one gloved finger on a dresser table, at the tip of the pristine whiteness, lay gray powder.

The house was a double storey bungalow, complete with a handsome porch. But all was left were scattered remains, left in a hurry. As he stepped on the rotting winding stairs, moving up. It creaked at every pressure applied to it, adding to the creepiness of the zone. Finally, the man reached the entrance of where he was headed. He pushed open the door, reveling in the sense of familiarity. Some dust flew into his face and he sneezed quite violently. The sound of his sneeze echoed throughout the empty house.

His eyes lost the shadows as he slowly scanned the room. Toys lay scattered around in wild abandon. Some of it were torn. The heads of the soldiers were plucked out from their bodies, train tracks were all over the place and even some fluff from stuff toys were lying around, collecting dust. The bedsheet on the wooden bed was torn. Torn into multiple pieces. But what stood out in this room, was the redness of it all. Splattered blood all over the walls, on the bedsheet, on the toys, and onto the mirror.

The guy standing at the doorway smiled. SMILED!
A sound of a Raven flooded the area mistily.
And again, he smiled. SMILED!

He absorbed the feelings of loveliness, warmness into his heart as he walked around the room in silence. The only sound heard was his footsteps, and the now faraway sound of the Raven bird.

Safe. Comfort.
These were all he felt as he walked on further, his smile becoming a grin. Images flooded his head and he laughed.

Ooh, but it got to him. It did. Suddenly, his heart slammed against his chest and his right hand flew up to clutch that area. His vision went fuzzy and his mind swam with images from his childhood as he continued struggling to view this special room. But the darkness still tried to sweep him away into the the abyss, its smoke-like tendrils creeping onto his fingers wrapping themselves around him. Soon it overpowered him, and he fell to the ground.

Dead.

You see, this special room, was his own room. The room where he grew up in. The room where he murdered someone in. The room where he tried to escape from. The room, which still held him in its grasps, never letting him go. Even though it had its evil, it was still part of him. The part of him that he tried moving away from, but it left him empty. When he came back, it welcomed him again. Welcomed him back into the horrors of the dark.

Dead.

This room was where he started, and ended his journey.


~10:46 pm